Decades ago, when I began my bachelor’s degree in health education, we had a slogan. “Do it for the health of it!” As young students in the program, we snickered at the “do it” while we focused on health. After a full career in the sexuality field, these words have morphed into other meanings.
When I got my counseling and therapy degrees, I learned to add permission to my conversations. Permission to talk, to share, to investigate. I became the person who helped to normalize sexuality in the lives of my clients. …
I’ll host my inaugural Twitter Spaces on Wednesday, May 5, 2021, NOON ET. You may have read about my initial involvement in Twitter Spaces in early April. After two weeks of dropping in and out of fascinating spaces, my Twitter app updated, and I had access to be a Twitter Spaces Host.
Excited. Terrified. Humbled. You name it. Every emotion flew through me. I could do it. When I opened Twitter to tweet and a new format showed up, I thought I’d won the lottery. After taking a screenshot, I knew it was real.
Sexual shame is a stumbling block to personal authenticity. Learned through a social construct, sexual shame can be identified and replaced. When you eliminate sexual shame, you can sit with your true sexual self, and create a safe space for it. If and when you are ready, you can choose to share it.
Consider the phrase, eliminate sexual shame. Use it as permission to move into a different place within yourself.
Ponder these ideas. Mantras. Positive Affirmations.
E — Extend grace to yourself.
L — Live in the moment. Not the past. Not the future. …
Sex. S-E-X. Sex.
I’m pretty sure a file cabinet in your head popped open and everything you don’t want to come out did. That’s because we lock down our ideas and notions about sex. In the US, this is understandable. Shame and embarrassment rear its head. It’s how we’ve been raised to think, act, and experience ourselves sexually.
Mostly we’ve learned sex is negative, a topic not to be discussed, and is dismissed in our everyday world. But every day you could make a choice to do something different. …
I took part in a Twitter Spaces event for the first time yesterday. Frankly, they did not design the topic for me. But that wouldn’t stop me from participating.
Here’s the title. Test recording topic: “What do you like/dislike about Twitter Spaces?”
Who knows? I’d never been in a Twitter Space before.
This is your permission slip to explore.
Vibrations work wonders on clitoral nerve endings.
You can experience the vibes with everyday items. Maybe you discovered them as a child by sitting on the washing machine, the clothes dryer, horseback riding, or on a motorcycle or mini-bike. Vibrations between your legs, flat against your vulva, could activate the starter of your clitoral engine.
Maybe a different encounter taught you that the best place for your focus is spot-specific. You know, like the seam of the jeans that rub that one place just so. …
I had been visiting with my tiny pod of friends on top of a mountain in North Carolina this week. We had created a Friday night fire circle, the first one of a new year. It was glorious and heartwarming. After vaccinations, we were together again, doing something that felt absolutely normal. We shared a collective sigh as we stared into the fire, gazed at the stars, sang with the music playing, and talked about what’s coming next. Afterward, I walked down the road back to our vacation spot.
It’s dark on the mountain, but the moonlight lit the way…
Anything and everything experienced in our life can affect our perspective of the world. Kind words instead of harsh words, helpful or harmful deeds, or displays of courage in the face of adversity. But when you tie life experiences to sex discussions, it colors our notion of pleasure.
Interactions laced with feelings, positive or negative, our view of our own bodies and how they fit in the relationship world or our thoughts about our worth all filter into how we define pleasure. By the time we become a fully acclimated human sexuality being, we have received many messages and stacked…
I look for novel ways to keep me connected to my sexual self. And I don’t know about you, but it seems I need more of it these days. My rhythm feels off and I seek balance. And it’s important to consider sexual balance as it relates to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual parts of life. Also, it’s vital to recognize which part of the body needs to take a turn in the lead. I change my rhythm by getting out of my head.
So, I perform a dance meditation. And it’s a specific dance. …
I’m a sex nerd. I’ll own that upfront.
Nothing is sexier than facts and figures, except maybe the front-line workers who are creating them. I remember how outstanding it felt back in the day to stand up at The Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, founded by Albert Ellis in 1957, and present my research on multi-orgasms in women. But after the Archives of Sexual Behavior published my work, I was done. I knew my specific skill set best-served education and therapy. The nerdiest of nerds could formulate hypotheses and create study structures, collect the data, and then do…