Decades ago, when I began my bachelor’s degree in health education, we had a slogan. “Do it for the health of it!” As young students in the program, we snickered at the “do it” while we focused on health. After a full career in the sexuality field, these words have morphed into other meanings.
When I got my counseling and therapy degrees, I learned to add permission to my conversations. Permission to talk, to share, to investigate. I became the person who helped to normalize sexuality in the lives of my clients. …
When the familiar sound echoed near the end store aisle, Dahlia’s petite frame faltered. It was an instantaneous response.
She froze in her tracks, and the sound stopped.
It happened again, and she backed herself against the adjacent cold concrete wall. Her hands splayed out beside her. She dropped her head behind her against the wall. Her pulse rate quickened, and her body flushed.
Surprise, curiosity, arousal, or fear?
The noise continued, her reaction a surprise. A Pavlovian response. She closed her eyes and strained to capture every nuance of the vibration in this environment. …
Dear Originator of #MyFavoriteThingsAboutSex,
I bet you’d never guess this is how I’d used your hashtag.
It fascinated me when I woke up to the viral nature of your existence. As a sex educator and former sex therapist, reading everyone’s personal perspectives in their tweets was illuminating.
People’s ideas about sex are so much an indicator of who they are. Their words showcase their personality (humor included), their relationship notions, and their culture and upbringing.
But in this viral thread microcosm, the authors’ concepts, ideas, and beliefs about sexuality were simple and clear.
This past week marked my first content event in my Twitter Spaces I named The Sexuality Space™. If you are following my adventures, yes, I jumped from a Twitter Spaces junkie to Twitter Space Host. It’s official. I launched my first space and am preparing for number two.
But with new ventures comes new learning. Trials and tribulations hone the craft. But attending well-hosted spaces set the stage for an authentic and powerful connection. I’ve watched hosts facilitate diverse topic conversations with ease while manning the dashboard with equality and flexibility. The respect they offered shaped a warm and affirming…
I’ll host my inaugural Twitter Spaces on Wednesday, May 5, 2021, NOON ET. You may have read about my initial involvement in Twitter Spaces in early April. After two weeks of dropping in and out of fascinating spaces, my Twitter app updated, and I had access to be a Twitter Spaces Host.
Excited. Terrified. Humbled. You name it. Every emotion flew through me. I could do it. When I opened Twitter to tweet and a new format showed up, I thought I’d won the lottery. After taking a screenshot, I knew it was real.
Sexual shame is a stumbling block to personal authenticity. Learned through a social construct, sexual shame can be identified and replaced. When you eliminate sexual shame, you can sit with your true sexual self, and create a safe space for it. If and when you are ready, you can choose to share it.
Consider the phrase, eliminate sexual shame. Use it as permission to move into a different place within yourself.
Ponder these ideas. Mantras. Positive Affirmations.
E — Extend grace to yourself.
L — Live in the moment. Not the past. Not the future. …
Sex. S-E-X. Sex.
I’m pretty sure a file cabinet in your head popped open and everything you don’t want to come out did. That’s because we lock down our ideas and notions about sex. In the US, this is understandable. Shame and embarrassment rear its head. It’s how we’ve been raised to think, act, and experience ourselves sexually.
Mostly we’ve learned sex is negative, a topic not to be discussed, and is dismissed in our everyday world. But every day you could make a choice to do something different. …
I took part in a Twitter Spaces event for the first time yesterday. Frankly, they did not design the topic for me. But that wouldn’t stop me from participating.
Here’s the title. Test recording topic: “What do you like/dislike about Twitter Spaces?”
Who knows? I’d never been in a Twitter Space before.
This is your permission slip to explore.
Vibrations work wonders on clitoral nerve endings.
You can experience the vibes with everyday items. Maybe you discovered them as a child by sitting on the washing machine, the clothes dryer, horseback riding, or on a motorcycle or mini-bike. Vibrations between your legs, flat against your vulva, could activate the starter of your clitoral engine.
Maybe a different encounter taught you that the best place for your focus is spot-specific. You know, like the seam of the jeans that rub that one place just so. …
I had been visiting with my tiny pod of friends on top of a mountain in North Carolina this week. We had created a Friday night fire circle, the first one of a new year. It was glorious and heartwarming. After vaccinations, we were together again, doing something that felt absolutely normal. We shared a collective sigh as we stared into the fire, gazed at the stars, sang with the music playing, and talked about what’s coming next. Afterward, I walked down the road back to our vacation spot.
It’s dark on the mountain, but the moonlight lit the way…